Humanity

Was running around the neighbourhood this afternoon when I noticed in the distance a few not-so-elderlies crowding around an old car with all its doors wide open.

"Most probably another case of an old car breaking down. Or broken into."

— talexeh (@talexeh) July 20, 2020

Since there were around 5 of them & I was without my phone, I didn't think I could help much. The only thing out of place was their restless eyes as they scanned each passing vehicles; me included.

— talexeh (@talexeh) July 20, 2020

As I jogged pass the car - as with most Malaysians - I KPC'd & took a quick glimpse inside, half-expecting a broken window or two. Instead, there was a body on the driver seat slumped to the left over the passenger seat.

— talexeh (@talexeh) July 20, 2020

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!"

"What do I do? Do I stop & help? Maybe he needs CPR or resuscitating?"

— talexeh (@talexeh) July 20, 2020

"But what if he has some kind of illness? What if he has COVID-19?!"

"You have a newborn! Think about your family! A good Samaritan means nothing if you end up sacrificing your family!"

— talexeh (@talexeh) July 20, 2020

These inner monologue raced through my mind & my legs were like a defendant, ever-ready for judgement to be passed on them.

— talexeh (@talexeh) July 20, 2020

I'm ashamed to admit I just ran on. But that's the thing about running. As the legs pressed on, the mind churned on as well. This gives you ample of room & time to internalize your argument.

To self-doubt yourself.

To question your decision.

— talexeh (@talexeh) July 20, 2020

As I reached a junction, I talked myself into running back to the scene & perhaps ask the group if I could be of any help. But as fate has it, an ambulance zoomed pass me from the back & I couldn't be more relieved.

— talexeh (@talexeh) July 20, 2020

Still, I couldn't help but to question my own humanity.

Would I have stopped if there was no COVID-19 in the first place? Would my decision be any different if I didn't have a newborn?

Needless to say, the run back home wasn't a pleasant one at all.

— talexeh (@talexeh) July 20, 2020